IELTS Writing Sample #126
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.
- In what ways are computers a hindrance?
- What is your opinion?
You should write at least 250 words.
Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.
The advanced `Mind machines' so called `the Computers' are no doubt the best
products of latest technology. One cannot imagine the advancement of life and
Sciences without these machines.
But like other achievements; they have their own good and bad effects as seen with experience and passage of time. In my opinion they are good if used for educational and beneficial uses for health and living etc.
Basically twentieth century had been famous for its latest Computer techniques and their application on our lives. Datas shown on Computers help us to assess how much education is conducted through this media. The assessment ways as well as examinations are improved. Moreover personal skills of reading and writing are far more improved through Computers.
Moreover Science and technology progressed immensely with computers. Researchers like cloning and transplants are only possible with modern computerized skills.
Good question comes to ones mind ... where will this Computer would take us next?? Certainly no one knows! We might explore new planners. May be we will buy houses on Moon, Mars or Jupitor. Or we might loose our own identity. One cannot forget the end of 2000 millennium when everybody was in chaos to think what will happen if the computers crash? The aeroplanes were going to crash and the trains would colloid. That Show we are forced to think that one should not be dependent on these machine after all we are humans. We are here to command computers not them to order us.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5 score. Here is the examiner's comment:
The candidate has attempted to organize some good arguments with valid examples and complex ideas. There is some relevant vocabulary (cloning) and synonyms avoid repetition (bad effects v hindrance, good effects v help). However, the arguments in paragraph 3 are not clear and the 'against' arguments are contained in the final paragraph, with no separate conclusion. There are frequent grammatical inaccuracies (science and technology progressed, Researchers like cloning, where will this computer would take us, that show we). This answer has also lost marks because it is too short (190 words).